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I learned a former NFL player will be in town this weekend, and one thing he’ll do is spend a few hours at the local grocery store signing bottles of vodka from his current business. Which strikes me as silly. Hence this post.
- A $1.07 check for a gas station can of pop.
- Adoption application for a pet tarantula.
- Cover letter for that ice fishing research assistant gig.
- Police report for those stolen tree cozies.
- A super fan’s bicep.
- Mortgage papers for that special guinea pig spa.
- Your Martian oxygen credit card.
- Shipping receipt for that gross of half-burned candles.