8 things to sign that aren’t vodka bottles

A Friday Fun post.

I learned a former NFL player will be in town this weekend, and one thing he’ll do is spend a few hours at the local grocery store signing bottles of vodka from his current business. Which strikes me as silly. Hence this post.

1. A $1.07 check for a gas station can of pop.
2. Adoption application for a pet tarantula.
3. Cover letter for that ice fishing research assistant gig.
4. Police report for those stolen tree cozies.
5. A super fan’s bicep.
6. Mortgage papers for that special guinea pig spa.
7. Your Martian oxygen credit card.
8. Shipping receipt for that gross of half-burned candles.